Re-posted from CNN. That's right, CNN.
My Take On, "I'm Spiritual Not Religious" is a Cop Out
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
The IFI Chronicles: The Adventures of TOMB-MAN!
151
I looked at this passage a lot while at IFI.
Their herdsmen ran away and reported it in the city and in the country. And the people came to see what it was that had happened. They came to Jesus and observed the man who had been demon-possessed sitting down, clothed and in his right mind, the very man who had had the “legion”; and they became frightened. Those who had seen it described to them how it had happened to the demon-possessed man, and all about the swine. And they began to implore Him to leave their region. As He was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed was imploring Him that he might accompany Him. And He did not let him, but He said to him, “Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you.” And he went away and began to proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed.
South Florida
I looked at this passage a lot while at IFI.
Mark
5
They came to the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gerasenes. When He got out of the boat, immediately a man from the tombs with an unclean spirit met Him, and he had his dwelling among the tombs. And no one was able to bind him anymore, even with a chain; because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him. Constantly, night and day, he was screaming among the tombs and in the mountains, and gashing himself with stones. Seeing Jesus from a distance, he ran up and bowed down before Him; and shouting with a loud voice, he said, “What business do we have with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God, do not torment me!” For He had been saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” And He was asking him, “What is your name?” And he said to Him, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” And he began to implore Him earnestly not to send them out of the country. Now there was a large herd of swine feeding nearby on the mountain. The demons implored Him, saying, “Send us into the swine so that we may enter them.” Jesus gave them permission. And coming out, the unclean spirits entered the swine; and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea, about two thousand of them; and they were drowned in the sea.
They came to the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gerasenes. When He got out of the boat, immediately a man from the tombs with an unclean spirit met Him, and he had his dwelling among the tombs. And no one was able to bind him anymore, even with a chain; because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him. Constantly, night and day, he was screaming among the tombs and in the mountains, and gashing himself with stones. Seeing Jesus from a distance, he ran up and bowed down before Him; and shouting with a loud voice, he said, “What business do we have with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God, do not torment me!” For He had been saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” And He was asking him, “What is your name?” And he said to Him, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” And he began to implore Him earnestly not to send them out of the country. Now there was a large herd of swine feeding nearby on the mountain. The demons implored Him, saying, “Send us into the swine so that we may enter them.” Jesus gave them permission. And coming out, the unclean spirits entered the swine; and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea, about two thousand of them; and they were drowned in the sea.
Their herdsmen ran away and reported it in the city and in the country. And the people came to see what it was that had happened. They came to Jesus and observed the man who had been demon-possessed sitting down, clothed and in his right mind, the very man who had had the “legion”; and they became frightened. Those who had seen it described to them how it had happened to the demon-possessed man, and all about the swine. And they began to implore Him to leave their region. As He was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed was imploring Him that he might accompany Him. And He did not let him, but He said to him, “Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you.” And he went away and began to proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed.
How would we have “labeled”
this man today with his presenting “symptoms?”
- Homeless (dwelling among the tombs)
- Violent (and he had his dwelling among the tombs. And no one was able to bind him anymore)
- Displays of strength (even with a chain, because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him.)
- Psychotic Episodes (Constantly, night and day, he was screaming among the tombs and in the mountains,)
- Self-harm/mutilation (gashing himself with stones)
What
would we do with such a man today?
> Hospitalize him?
> A double dose of Thorzine?
> Restraints?
> Solitary confinement?
> Case-management?
> Lobotomy?
This is how Jesus handled the
situation. He bypassed the man
altogether and spoke directly to his affliction, in this case a “legion” of
demons. He commanded them to “come out”
and they did.
What was Jesus’ outcome: “observed the
man who had been demon-possessed sitting
down, clothed and in his right mind, the very man who had had the ‘Legion’”
Jesus
didn’t do a social history. He didn’t do a medical exam. He didn’t ask the man if he preferred the
“outdoor” lifestyle. He didn’t even ask permission. He didn’t speak to the man
directly.
Jesus
took authority and the affliction was cast away.
That
was where I wanted to go. I wanted Jesus
to speak directly to the hearts of the men and prison and instantly “heal”
them. I wanted the men to amaze people
by sitting clothed and in their right minds.
You
would think the people of the Gerasenes would have been ecstatic to have Tomb Man taken care of. Surely
he had been a community risk for many years?
You would imagine they would have begged Jesus to stick around and
clean-up their community.
Not so
much…
Here
was their response:
“they became frightened. Those who had
seen it described to them how it had happened to the demon-possessed man, and all about the swine. And they began to implore Him to leave their region.”
They
would rather deal with demonically oppressed men and continue their illegal
“swine” operation than to have a healthy community…a theme that would show up
in our reality as well.
So
Jesus left. His only reported convert? TOMB-MAN!
“As He (Jesus) was getting into the boat, the man who had been
demon-possessed was imploring Him that he might accompany Him. And He did not let him, but He said to him, “Go home
to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you,
and how He had
mercy on you.” And he went away and began to
proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone
was amazed.”
That
also became a common theme in our reality as well…
chris
Monday, September 17, 2012
The IFI Chronicles: Leaders
152
That is a grand total of 21.41 scheduled hours a week for “treatment.”
“E” Unit had 242 beds that generally stayed full. We may have had a few beds open a few days at
a time, but generally, the Unit was full of men.
The weekly curriculum time looked like this:
Ø Treatment/instruction
from an IFI counselor: 2 hours daily (10 hours weekly)
Ø Volunteer-led
Evening Curriculum: 90 minutes 3 days a week (4.5 hour weekly)
Ø Community
Bible Study: 90 minutes (1.5 hours) weekly and mostly led by inmates
Ø Friday
Night Revival was 90 minutes (1.5 hours) weekly led by Volunteers
Ø Sunday
morning services were 90 minutes (1.5 hours) weekly led by IFI staff
Ø Community
Meeting was 45 minutes 5 days a week (3.75 hours Weekly)
Ø Morning
Devotions were 20 minutes 5 days a week (1.66 hours weekly) led by inmates.
IFI members in curriculum mode would also have scheduled
one-on-one times with their counselors throughout the week/month/quarter. So let’s call the whole “time” in “treatment”
as 24 hours a week.
That left 144
other hours a week free. Free to study, work-out, sleep, visit, play sports,
and “do-time.”
Clearly, 144 hours in a prison setting would have an
insurmountable affect on the hearts of the men.
IFI staff could not be the sole source of “knowledge” or “wisdom from
on-high.” We needed partners and
co-laborers. We needed leaders.
I looked at the men as potential leaders in three different
ways:
Criteria 1: I looked at men who were already buying into
what we were doing and who were already taking initiative. That didn’t mean they were automatically put
in a leadership position. Sometimes it was the opposite. Some men craved leadership and wanted a
position. They wanted to be up front and in front. They wanted to teach and exercise their
brains and mouths, not their hearts. Others were taking what they were learning
and applying it right away.
Criteria 2: I
looked for those who had potential. This
was my main criteria and the most subjective.
I would pray and try to perceive who the Lord was highlighting to
me. I picked some “risky” guys n an
attempt to “coach-them-up.” Sometimes it
worked; sometimes it was a total flame-out.
Criteria 3: I
would look for guys in groups who were closed to me. I looked for guys who were Hispanic and spoke
Spanish, especially guys going back to Mexico California or Chicago
What I found was if I really stuck to my 2nd
criteria (looking for the Lord to highlight someone) I would get everyone in my
3rd criteria.
I would hand-pick a group of 20 guys for leadership training.
Then I would proceed to spill to them everything I was doing. I would walk them through my thought process
in certain situations and why I was doing what I was doing. I did this at great risk, because I knew
there was a potential to any of those guys running right back to the unit and
spilling all of my “tactics.” However, I
never worried about that.
Another thing I would do was teach them specific skills in
leadership. We used an excellent
curriculum called “Jesus on Leadership: Developing Servant Leaders” by Gene
Wilkes. It was an excellent balance of
the practical and the theoretical. It
also emphasized servant hood as the main mechanism of leading.
I would then place resources, teachings, books, etc. into
the hands of guys. If I felt they were
prophetic I would slide them a book about the prophetic. If I saw they were
worship leaders, I would give them music.
If I saw they were teachers, I would give them assignments to teach. If they were counselors, I would put them
with other guys who needed to be listened to. If they were pray-ers, I would
pray with them.
Most importantly I would pray for them, and I would pray for
them in a very specific way and with a specific intent. I would pray, with faith and with my
positional authority, that their potential would be unleashed in their
lives. I expected the Holy Spirit to
ramp His work up in their lives. I
waited to see them make exponential growth, and I did.
Our community began to really flourish as the day to day
discipleship and the atmosphere of the unit were in the care of the inmates
themselves and shepherded by the “elders” as they were called (a term I never
used, but the men used for each other.)
chris
To learn more about Gene Wilkes and his Jesus on Leadership curriculum : Jesus on Leadership
(I prefer the book to th DVD Curriculum...)
(I prefer the book to th DVD Curriculum...)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Helmet Man
153
Yet another wacky story having to (kind-of) do with the Chiefs...
...and it makes me laugh.
KANSAS CITY, MO (KCTV) -
Yet another wacky story having to (kind-of) do with the Chiefs...
...and it makes me laugh.
KANSAS CITY, MO (KCTV) -
The FBI said Friday afternoon that no explosives were found and there is no threat to the public after a scare in downtown Kansas City.
The man at the center of the scare, Wahed Moharam, was later released. He talked to reporters once he arrived home Friday night.
"I love this country," he said, adding that he has lived in the United States for more than 30 years. "I would give my life for this country."
Police initially said the man claimed to be a terrorist, leading to the evacuation of some downtown streets and buildings. Moharam, who is apparently on a federal watch list, was taken into custody at the federal building at 13th Street and Holmes Road.
Moharam reportedly yelled, "Why am I on the terrorist watch list?" when he entered the federal building downtown Friday.
"While the individual was detained and is being questioned, there is no public safety concern and we determined no personnel inside the federal building were in harm's way," the FBI statement says. "The individual walked into the federal building to clarify whether he was under investigation by a federal agency. The individual did not make a threat of a bomb or explosive device being contained in his vehicle."
The Kansas City Star, KCTV5's reporting partner, reported that Moharam has ties to the first World Trade Center bombing. He testified against some of the bombers.
Moharam is also a die-hard Chiefs fan and appeared on KCTV5's Locker Room show. He also appeared regularly on other KCTV5 business-related segments. He was known as "Helmet Man," and was wearing a Chiefs shirt Friday night.
He told reporters Friday night that he had been pulled over on a traffic stop in Grain Valley. He said he felt harassed and the stop was extensive. He said officers told him the traffic stop lasted so long because they discovered he was on a terror-watch list.
Moharam said this upset him and he went to the federal building to clear up the issue. He said he never had a bomb and never implied that he had one.
"I love this country more than anything on earth. I will do anything for this country," he said. "I never went to the building and said I had a bomb. If I said I had a bomb, I wouldn't be talking to you now."
After Moharam was taken into custody Friday afternoon, bomb dogs indicated that explosives were inside the vehicle. This led to the evacuations and a heightened search.
After a robot and investigators in bomb squad gear searched the vehicle, explosives were not found.
A gun was found inside his vehicle.
Moharam owns a cleaning business. And the cleaning chemicals inside the vehicle were what the dogs hit on.
Moharam was known to many Kansas City area residents as "Helmet Man" because of his attire at Chiefs games. Many knew him as Edgar Sanchez.
Neighbors described him as friendly, good with children and involved in his church and community. He was also described as odd. He came to KCTV5's newsroom in February to discuss a business opportunity.
The Star reported that Moharam's season tickets were revoked because of safety concerns in 2003. He was once in the federal witness protection program for testifying in the first World Trade Center bombing. Click here to read the newspaper's 2003 profile of him.
"Everything is OK," a man identifying himself as Wahed told the newspaper. "I don't have to tell you exactly where I am. The FBI requests me to hang up the phone, but I can assure you I'm OK and they treat me good."
He added: "And everything mistake. Everything mistake. I didn't have any bad thing anyway. Everything is just ... thank you and God bless you and I'm OK."
The General Services Administration initially relocated employees from sections of their downtown building as a result of the threat. Federal agencies sent some workers home for the day.
The nearby Jackson County Jail was placed on lockdown.
Kansas City police said they acted out of an abundance of caution.
In its statement, the FBI said they could not discuss whether Moharam is on a federal watch list.
"Local police and FBI agents acting with an abundance of caution responded appropriately with the initial limited information they had based on witness accounts of what happened," the statement said. "A police canine sniffed the person's car and alerted to a possible explosive substance. A closer look has determined that no items of concern have been located in the individual's vehicle. Again, the primary concern was for the public's safety, which made the actions today necessary."
KCTV5's Brad Stephens, Stephen Mayer and Dave Jordan contributed to this report.
Copyright2012 KCTV (Meredith Corp.) All rights reserved.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Chiefs tell fan to 'get a clue' via Twitter, story goes viral
154
This story makes me laugh...
This story makes me laugh...
Chiefs tell fan to 'get a clue' via Twitter, story goes viral
On Monday, Travis Wright did what a lot of NFL fans do on Twitter: posted a complaint about his favorite team, the Chiefs, on the social media site. The big difference is that Wright got a response from the Chiefs Twitter account (via direct message), posted said direct message on Reddit, and watched the whole thing go viral.
First up is the message Wright, who happens to have 125,000 Twitter followers, posted on Monday, using @replies to alert the Chiefs and the NFL to his unhappiness.
 |
| Travis Wright wasn't thrilled with the Chiefs. (@teedubya) |
This isn't even remotely unusual for Twitter. In fact, Wright's comments are pretty tame, all things considered. (Hop on Twitter and insult Kentucky basketball fans. Things will get weird, real quick.) The only difference is that Wright has a lot of Twitter followers.
So apparently that caused whoever runs the Chiefs Twitter account to shoot him a direct message telling him he needed to "get a clue."
Maybe KC forgot to change the password and Todd Haley still has access? Whatever the case, it probably seemed like a solid "Ha-ha-ha" moment for the much more powerful Chiefs Twitter account, shooting down a clueless fan. Until that fan posted the image above on Reddit, had the whole story go viral and forced the Chiefs official Twitter account to apologize.
Hysterically, Wright actually hasn't seen the apology because the Chiefs blocked his Twitter account. In other words, this whole scenario couldn't have possibly been more botched by whatever intern is running the show over there.
So what's the lesson here? One, please train whoever's running your social media, NFL teams. Two, if you're going to make a fan mad, make sure it's someone who's not a social-media manager by profession. Three, just because something isn't public on your Twitter timeline doesn't mean that it's just going to disappear into the ether. Direct messages are easily postable.
And four, you should be nice to your fans, even the angry ones.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
I Remember.
155
I remember being in my office in the prison.
I remember Jesse coming to my office and telling me, "An airplane hit the World Trade Center."
I remember thinking, "You know, I don't know why that hasn't happened before." (I thought it was a tiny plane.)
I remember a little later someone else came to my office, "Another plane has hit the World Trade Center. They are saying it is some kind of attack."
I remember thinking, "Whaaaat?"
I remember calling Amy at home and saying, "Turn on the TV right now on any station. What do you see?"
I remember her saying, "Oh. Oh no. Oh no..."
I remember going over to "E" unit on the wing and standing there with inmates and Correctional Officers a like staring at the TV screens.
I remember going home that night and being glued to the television, even though there was nothing new to see.
I remember calling and talking to my Dad.
I remember seeing on-air newscasters break down and sob live as they tried to report what was happening.
I remember the knot I felt in my stomach.
I remember the anger.
I remember the helplessness.
I remember.
I remember being in my office in the prison.
I remember Jesse coming to my office and telling me, "An airplane hit the World Trade Center."
I remember thinking, "You know, I don't know why that hasn't happened before." (I thought it was a tiny plane.)
I remember a little later someone else came to my office, "Another plane has hit the World Trade Center. They are saying it is some kind of attack."
I remember thinking, "Whaaaat?"
I remember calling Amy at home and saying, "Turn on the TV right now on any station. What do you see?"
I remember her saying, "Oh. Oh no. Oh no..."
I remember going over to "E" unit on the wing and standing there with inmates and Correctional Officers a like staring at the TV screens.
I remember going home that night and being glued to the television, even though there was nothing new to see.
I remember calling and talking to my Dad.
I remember seeing on-air newscasters break down and sob live as they tried to report what was happening.
I remember the knot I felt in my stomach.
I remember the anger.
I remember the helplessness.
I remember.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Glen Miller
156
When my dad was turning 50, I remember he liked to play his favorite music...Glenn Miller.
Now that I'm turning 50, I also like to listen to my favorite music...King's X Live in London.
Yeeeeahhhhhhhhh.
chris
When my dad was turning 50, I remember he liked to play his favorite music...Glenn Miller.
Now that I'm turning 50, I also like to listen to my favorite music...King's X Live in London.
Yeeeeahhhhhhhhh.
chris
Friday, September 7, 2012
Hughesville (Part 2)
157
Late night coming from a Sr. High fooball game in Hughesville, MO. (Yes, 2 nights in a row.)
Lions lost 72-32.
Wes caught a touchdown pass though.
Good Night Now! (again)
cg
Late night coming from a Sr. High fooball game in Hughesville, MO. (Yes, 2 nights in a row.)
Lions lost 72-32.
Wes caught a touchdown pass though.
Good Night Now! (again)
cg
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Hughesville
158
Late night coming from a Jr. High fooball game in Hughesville, MO.
Good Night Now!
cg
Late night coming from a Jr. High fooball game in Hughesville, MO.
Good Night Now!
cg
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
A Labor Day Drive
159
On Labor Day (Monday) Amy had to work in the afternoon and Half-Price Books had a Labor Day Sale. So off I went to sell some books and buy some books.
(BTW: Amy’s hardback Twilight Series fetched a whopping $.60 each)
Anyway…
I am driving on 435 heading west. Just past State Line road I see a traffic cop in a Suburban giving someone a ticket. I look in my rearview mirror and notice a motorcyclist flying up behind me. He was on a Japanese-looking motorcycle and he’s weaving through traffic. The rider is decked out in a full motocross outfit. He whips past me on my right, cuts in front of me and zips on up the interstate. A second later, the SUV-Cop flips on his lights and rips into traffic.
Wow, I thought, that cop could see that motorcycle?
A mile up the road, near the Metcalf exit, I see the motorcycle in pieces all over the road., the SUV-Cop is on his radio, and the rider is facedown on the pavement. What is interesting is the Officer is on his radio looking at the motorcycle and he’s turned away from the rider. I don’t know the status of the rider, but he did remind me of an action figure flung across a room.
(I sense the probability of an affirmative response to Wesley’s request to buy a motorcycle becoming less and less as I exit onto Metcalf.)
I go to Half-Price Books without incident. I get $3 for the books I trade in. I buy the two books I’m looking for. I head back south on Metcalf towards 435.
As I pass the Mall on 95th I look to my left up a block and I see one of the streetlights slowly topple over and block three lanes of northbound traffic.
Now, I’m going to type that again.
I watch a huge silver streetlight fall (in slow motion) right across three lanes of on coming traffic. It looked as if perhaps Paul Bunyan had been there. No car had run into the pole. It just fell over. Luckily no one was killed or hurt. Everyone had time to stop and the pole didn’t crush anyone.
That was weird.
I went home, sat on my couch, and read.
No more outings for me today.
chris
On Labor Day (Monday) Amy had to work in the afternoon and Half-Price Books had a Labor Day Sale. So off I went to sell some books and buy some books.
(BTW: Amy’s hardback Twilight Series fetched a whopping $.60 each)
Anyway…
I am driving on 435 heading west. Just past State Line road I see a traffic cop in a Suburban giving someone a ticket. I look in my rearview mirror and notice a motorcyclist flying up behind me. He was on a Japanese-looking motorcycle and he’s weaving through traffic. The rider is decked out in a full motocross outfit. He whips past me on my right, cuts in front of me and zips on up the interstate. A second later, the SUV-Cop flips on his lights and rips into traffic.
Wow, I thought, that cop could see that motorcycle?
A mile up the road, near the Metcalf exit, I see the motorcycle in pieces all over the road., the SUV-Cop is on his radio, and the rider is facedown on the pavement. What is interesting is the Officer is on his radio looking at the motorcycle and he’s turned away from the rider. I don’t know the status of the rider, but he did remind me of an action figure flung across a room.
(I sense the probability of an affirmative response to Wesley’s request to buy a motorcycle becoming less and less as I exit onto Metcalf.)
I go to Half-Price Books without incident. I get $3 for the books I trade in. I buy the two books I’m looking for. I head back south on Metcalf towards 435.
As I pass the Mall on 95th I look to my left up a block and I see one of the streetlights slowly topple over and block three lanes of northbound traffic.
Now, I’m going to type that again.
I watch a huge silver streetlight fall (in slow motion) right across three lanes of on coming traffic. It looked as if perhaps Paul Bunyan had been there. No car had run into the pole. It just fell over. Luckily no one was killed or hurt. Everyone had time to stop and the pole didn’t crush anyone.
That was weird.
I went home, sat on my couch, and read.
No more outings for me today.
chris
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
The Runes of Earth
161
After over 20 years, I'm returning to "The Land" and the stories of Thomas Covenant in "The Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant." Four very long books with very dense inner narrative of the main characters and lots of vocabulary. This will be much different endevour than the Dark Tower Series I finished up where Stephen King just keeps the story rollin'.
chris
www.stephenrdonaldson.com/
After over 20 years, I'm returning to "The Land" and the stories of Thomas Covenant in "The Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant." Four very long books with very dense inner narrative of the main characters and lots of vocabulary. This will be much different endevour than the Dark Tower Series I finished up where Stephen King just keeps the story rollin'.
chris
www.stephenrdonaldson.com/
Sunday, September 2, 2012
What are the odds...
162
In 1975, while riding a moped in Bermuda, a man was accidentally struck and killed by a taxi.
One year later, this man's bother was killed in the very same way.
In fact:
> he was riding the very same moped
> he was struck by the very same taxi driven by the same driver
> carrying the very same passenger.
I find that interesting.
chris
In 1975, while riding a moped in Bermuda, a man was accidentally struck and killed by a taxi.
One year later, this man's bother was killed in the very same way.
In fact:
> he was riding the very same moped
> he was struck by the very same taxi driven by the same driver
> carrying the very same passenger.
I find that interesting.
chris
Saturday, September 1, 2012
8 Words Liars Use.
163
Lie detection expert Janine Driver, author of the new book, You Can't Lie to Me, fills us in on the words that give away a liar.
"Left"
Sure, sometimes 'left' is the only word you can use in a situation, but there's some kind of drama involved when he uses it in place of another word that will do (think: "I left the bar at six" vs. "I went home at six"). It could be due to his desire to "leave" the lie behind.
"Never"
The big thing to look out for is when he says "never" when "no" will do. It's a sign he's overcompensating. For example, if you ask, "Did you just look at that girl's butt?" and he says, "Never!"
"That"
Like never, it depends on how he uses it. If he puts "that" in front of a noun, like "that woman" or "that money," it's a subconscious attempt for him to distance himself from the word. This is a common trick of manipulators.
"Would"
If he skips "no" and goes straight to "I would never do something like that!" when talking about a past event, be wary. For example, "Are you still talking to your ex?" "I would never do that to you!" "Would never" suggests that he plans to do it in the future.
"Yes, ma'am"
If your guy is a Southern gentleman, then this doesn't apply. But if he suddenly says "ma'am" to you out of nowhere, be cautious. It's a sign that he feels like he's feeling stressed and knows he's in trouble.
"By the way…"
Liars use phrases like this to try to minimize what they say next-but usually it's what's most important to the story. Pay extra attention to what he says afterward.
"But"
Liars usually try to downplay what they say with this word, so pay attention when he says something like, "I know this is going to sound strange, but…" or "I know you think I'm lying, but…"
"Why would I do that?"
It's a favorite stalling line of liars, so they can buy a little time to work out what to say next. These phrases also fit the bill: "What kind of person do you think I am?", "Are you calling me a liar?", and "I knew this was going to happen to me!"
What do you think?
chris
Lie detection expert Janine Driver, author of the new book, You Can't Lie to Me, fills us in on the words that give away a liar.
"Left"
Sure, sometimes 'left' is the only word you can use in a situation, but there's some kind of drama involved when he uses it in place of another word that will do (think: "I left the bar at six" vs. "I went home at six"). It could be due to his desire to "leave" the lie behind.
"Never"
The big thing to look out for is when he says "never" when "no" will do. It's a sign he's overcompensating. For example, if you ask, "Did you just look at that girl's butt?" and he says, "Never!"
"That"
Like never, it depends on how he uses it. If he puts "that" in front of a noun, like "that woman" or "that money," it's a subconscious attempt for him to distance himself from the word. This is a common trick of manipulators.
"Would"
If he skips "no" and goes straight to "I would never do something like that!" when talking about a past event, be wary. For example, "Are you still talking to your ex?" "I would never do that to you!" "Would never" suggests that he plans to do it in the future.
"Yes, ma'am"
If your guy is a Southern gentleman, then this doesn't apply. But if he suddenly says "ma'am" to you out of nowhere, be cautious. It's a sign that he feels like he's feeling stressed and knows he's in trouble.
"By the way…"
Liars use phrases like this to try to minimize what they say next-but usually it's what's most important to the story. Pay extra attention to what he says afterward.
"But"
Liars usually try to downplay what they say with this word, so pay attention when he says something like, "I know this is going to sound strange, but…" or "I know you think I'm lying, but…"
"Why would I do that?"
It's a favorite stalling line of liars, so they can buy a little time to work out what to say next. These phrases also fit the bill: "What kind of person do you think I am?", "Are you calling me a liar?", and "I knew this was going to happen to me!"
What do you think?
chris
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