On 05/28/13 I got a new left hip.
My previous hip had fallen apart over the previous years and I was
no longer able to walk without the assistance of a cane.
So I got a new, ceramic, left hip.
The rehab process was interesting and my pre-surgery classes came
in handy. They gave me a lot of good information and "tips."
Here was a pretty important tip, "Don't pop your new hip out
of its socket...that would be bad.”
I’m assuming that is as painful as it sounds. My new hip needed time to adhere to my femur,
and the muscles and ligaments the surgeon had not-so-gently sliced, diced, and
re-arranged needed time to heal and surround my new hip. So here was what I couldn’t do:
1.) I could not bend over or sit at more than a 90 degree
angle. The stress of more than 90
degrees could…pop my hip out of its new socket. So I got some “assistive
technology.” I got a sock-putter-onner. A plastic sleeve with a couple of ropes
where I could slip my sock onto the sleeve and then put it on the floor and then
slip my foot into the sleeve and then pull on the ropes and then slip my foot
into the sock and then have the sock catch half-way on my foot and then the
sleeve pulls out and then my sock falls off and then I cuss. The other assistive devices I got were a “grabber”
(I’ll never be without a grabber again…just sayin’), a toilet seat extender, a
bench for the shower, a walker, gross non-slip shoes, and a sponge on a stick.
2.) I could not turn my left foot or my knee out. This is trickier than it sounds. I found that
I really wanted to sit and sleep with my knee and foot turned out. Apparently this would be like unscrewing my
leg from my body and…of course…pop my hip out of its new socket (which was not
a desirable thing to have happen…apparently.) So I had to learn to sit
pigeon-toed, with my knee pointed in (which is the way that I am sitting right
now as I type.)
3.) Stop limping! In our pre-new hip classes the rehab people said
this over and over, “Stop limping! You have a new hip and it’s perfect. You are as healthy as you have been in years.
You are pain-free. You old hip is gone and you have a new, perfect hip that
doesn’t hurt. You don’t need to, nor should you limp ANY MORE!.” This, also,
was easier said than done.
Pain is the body’s way of keeping you away from things. Physical pain is a signal, and your body will
obey that signal. Over the years, I had
more and more pain in my hip; therefore I avoided certain activities,
positions, and postures. And I developed a pronounced limp. My body then
conformed to that limp. My muscles strengthened in areas they were not intended
to strengthen. Other muscles were no longer used as much and I experienced
atrophy.
So…
Technically speaking, the rehab people were right. I no longer had
the pain of a white-hot ice-pick being jammed into my left hip socket. My “hip”
no longer hurt. There was no hip left to hurt.
It was the rest of my body that started to get all achy (and breaky.) All of those old muscles wanted to do what
they had been trained to do for two-plus years.
I found my right leg was so tight from bearing all my (extensive) weight
for two years. My back ached from trying to sit-up straight (as Amy constantly
had to remind me.) Even a year later, I have to intentionally walk with an even
gate or I will slip back into my old-hip swagger.
This all reminds me of some kind of Bible Verse….
But that’s no life (old hip) for you. You learned Christ!(new hip) My
assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him (new hip rehab
instructions), been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in
Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do
mean everything—connected with that old (hip) way of life has
to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an
entirely new way of life (new hip)—a
God-fashioned (hip) life, a life (hip) renewed from the
inside and working itself into your conduct (walk) as God accurately reproduces
his character in you. Ephesians
4:20-24
That
was a stretch (get it?)…but accurate.
cg
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