Mr. Geil (Cynically) Explains The News:
Impeachment Edition:
So there are two teams of crooks. They live in Washington DC. Then another crook from New York, but also kind-of from Florida, who's not actually part of either team, but is really part of both teams, gets elected president. One team of crooks says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't get to be president! Get out of our cat-poop-filled crooked sandbox! You have your own rat-poop-filled crooked sandbox to play in!.” The other team says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't want you to be president either but we're kind of stuck with you.” So then one set of crooks says, “Hey you kind of did some things that might be crooked even though every president ever has done the exact same thing you just did.” So they have this big poorly-rated TV show where a bunch of the crooks tell a bunch of things that are probably lies. Then another bunch of crooks tells a bunch of different things that are probably lies to neutralize the previous crooks mostly probably lies. Then this foreign crook gets asked, “Hey what about that crooked stuff that our crooked president said?” Then the foreign crook says, “Your current crooked president didn't say that. As a matter of fact, your crooked president before this crooked president did the very same thing you're accusing your current crooked president of doing. Your current crook actually didn't do the crooked thing you say he crookedly did. He actually did the opposite.” Then the crooks respond, “Ok. So we’re just going to go ahead and put down that you said he DID do the crooked thing and we’ll pretend the previous crook didn’t do that crooked thing.” Meanwhile, there's a bunch of stuff those crooks are supposed to do as part of their jobs. But instead of doing their jobs they tried to preserve their traditional way of crookedness. Meanwhile, meanwhile, America ate more Doritos...and waited.
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#mrgeilexplainsthenews
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