187
I have Tinnitus; a pervasive ringing in my ears. I failed my last audiological exam. I couldn’t distinguish the tones in my head to the tones through the earphones. The speech of others is often muffled or jarbled. I can tell that people are talking; I just can’t distinguish half of the words. When someone says something to me from another room, all I hear is, “Babblesnaglapplemummbleblayblablo.” It’s frustrating.
At the Newton Correctional Facility in Newton, Iowa, there are many locked doors. At the front, past the first set of officers are two magnetically locked iron doors. They are unlocked from the security tower. The officers at the front “buzz” the tower. The security officers there watch the camera to see who is passing through and then unlock the door. At times there is a lot of commotion up front. Officers and staff may be coming in and out. Sometimes family members and visitors are going to the visiting room.
In front of the first security door there is a bright yellow line painted on the floor. You must stand behind the yellow line until the security door is unlocked, then you may proceed through the door. If you cross the yellow line, an infrared light is tripped and the security cameras are alerted. It is good to not irritate the security officers because there are a series of 5 locked security doors and you will find yourself waiting at each one if you do.
When I first started coming into the prison I could never tell when the doors were unlocked. There is no light or sign that flashes. I would be standing with staff or Sam Dye at the front waiting. I may begin to take a step towards the door and Sam would grab my arm. “Not yet,” he would say. Then he would say, “Ok, we can go.” Was Sam psychic? Did he have magical powers that caused the door to open at his command? I felt like an idiot. I just had to stand there. A sarcastic voice would sometimes come over the speaker, “You can go through now…wah, wah, waaaaaaaaah.”
Then one day I heard it. I heard, “The Click.”
One early morning I was the only one entering the prison. I was standing dutifully at the yellow line. Then I heard a “click.” With my Tinnitus, it is difficult to determine what direction some sounds come from. But I definitely heard the, “click.” So I walked forward and pushed the heavy door open. As I stood in the small “Sally Port” I recognized the next “click.” And I went through the next door.
The door had always been making that sound. The sound of that “click” didn’t suddenly happen or get louder. There were so many other competing sounds that overwhelmed my ability to hear it. Once I recognized the “click” I could tune my ear to it. I would intently listen for it and I could ignore other superfluous sounds in the room.
Some time later, I was standing behind the yellow line with a potential volunteer. He started to walk forward and I gently tapped his forearm,
ME: Not yet, the door is still locked
DOOR: Click
ME: Okay, we can go through now.
POTENTIAL VOLUNTEER: How did you know that? Is there a light or something?
ME: …or something (said smugly.)
I’ve told that story a lot, especially to the men in that prison who asked me about hearing God’s voice.
It is not a matter of God not speaking. It is a matter of us not tuning our ears to hear Him. We have Spiritual Tinnitus, a constant ringing in our spirits that can make it hard to determine what direction things are coming from. We have a lot of competing exterior sounds. We are not tuned to God’s voice.
Jesus uses the phrase, “He who has ears, let him hear!” six times in the New Testament. It’s not a matter of physical ears. It is a matter of “tuned” ears, like tuning a radio.
“3To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 A stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers.” John 10:3-5
“27My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;” John 10:27
chris
To learn more about the Newton Correctional Facility:
To learn more about “Tinnitus”:
To learn more about the InnerChange Freedom Initiative:
No comments:
Post a Comment