Amy and I moved to Nashville Summer of 1987.
We had been married 1 year. I had gone to Bible College in Moberly, MO for two years and only 24 of my 64 credits had transferred to Northeast Missouri State in Kirksville, MO. Of those that transferred, only about 9 of them went towards my degree in Education. So I went to school 4 years at to get my degree in Special Education.
We moved to Nashville because we could. We had both graduated and were adventurous. Nashville was booming and I was an aspiring musician/singer/songwriter, so we loaded a U-Haul and headed South.
We met many folks in our same situation in Nashville. They were young musicians out on their own, far away from home for the first time. I was learning how to be married. I was learning to be an employee. I was learning how to be a home owner. I was learning how to be an “artist.” Everyone else was learning all the same things. So there was a great sense of camaraderie.
We met Doug and Wendy Neckers from rural New York State. He was a guitar player and lyric writer. She was an artist. But they were different from the rest of our Nashville friends; they had kids.
Doug made a statement one time, an off-handed statement at that, that rung a bell within me. It excited me, terrified me, filled me full of hope and dread. He was talking about balancing his life there in Nashville and he said something like, “I’m just learning how to be a better musician, a better husband, a better Dad…”
When he used the term, “Dad” and attributed it to himself, I was momentarily stunned. A Dad was a balding slightly over-weight guy who mowed the grass a lot and worked at a store. A “Dad” was not a cool-looking guy with awesome hair who played heavy-metal licks on his electric guitar.
Then it hit me…if Doug could be a Dad…then…I…could…be …a…….Dad………to.
I had never considered that whole “Dad” option in the “reality-space” of my life. I had thought of it in the “theoretical-space” of my life. But it seemed far away in the future, almost like a myth, like being 10-years-old and dreaming of getting your driver’s license when you’re 16. It was as if Doug had thrown the state driver’s manual in my lap and said, “You better study, ‘cause you’ll be taking that driver’s test next week!”
The other frightening aspect of the whole “Dad” thing was that I had always thought in terms of, “We’ll have a baby” or “We’ll have kids.” I always viewed it from the perspective of what I would have. I never looked at it as who I would be. The title of “Dad” had weight to it. I did not have super-human abilities like my Dad, and I was pretty sure I never would.
Four years later I sat in a room at Baptist Hospital, holding my 6 lb 4 oz son who had decided he couldn’t stay put any longer (his life-pattern to this day) and showed-up 19 days early.
Ready or not…I was a Dad!
chris
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