At New Life, I could see (visibly/tangibly see) that God was moving in the hearts and lives of people. I wanted “in on that”, but I wasn’t going to “run down front” and participate in all those shenanigans. I did however, start meeting with a group of men who went to the church building in the mornings before work to pray. It wasn’t what Mike Bickle calls a “Rock-Pile” prayer group where you sit in a circle with a list of needs and you just start swinging away. I was with a group of guys who just, basically laid on the floor and listened. I had never done that. I always thought I needed to fill the silence with my words and thoughts. Here, we just laid there and listened.
We ended up listening to the same live Dennis Jernigan CD every morning. Part of it was, we never took the time to switch it out, but another part was his lyrics being so targeted at the Lord Himself and the sincerity in his voice. It was mostly just him on piano singing a song directly to Jesus. It was an enriching time for me. I was fasting and getting up really early to pray. I was focusing my spirit in the Lord’s direction. I felt peaceful and confident.
I also worked very hard on the two days of teacher meetings before the start of the new school year the 3rd Wednesday in August. After a number of years I had seen that if we could come together those first couple of days and build our team and settle the vision, it would propel us on a positive wave for a couple of months. I had also seen the opposite happen. If we were fuzzy and disjointed at the beginning of the year, we would hit burn-out almost immediately. Playing catch-up is no fun.
I had all of my activities planned. I had the games and prizes for the staff lined-up. I had all the information printed and sorted. I had the teacher notebooks ready. I had the rooms decorated. I had a good plan and all my pep-talks ready. I had been fasting and praying intently. I was ready.
A Bad Day
I came to the school early on the first day of teacher’s meetings. I was in my office when I began to see female students from the residence coming to the school lobby. They were unaccompanied by staff and they were still in their pajamas. I went to them to see what was happening. “They just told us to come over here, we don’t know why.” I had them go to the library when I saw the AM residential worked come in the door.
“Julie’s dead,” She said to me in a panic.
I stared at her, not really comprehending what she was saying.
“She’s lying on the bathroom floor of the residence, dead. Mr. Willis is already over there. I didn’t know what to do with the girls so I just sent them over here.” She then stared past me and walked into the library behind the girls.
I saw the ambulance pull into the circle drive and people running around.
Julie had been at home with her Dad the previous two weeks for break. He commented at the funeral that it was the best period of time he had spent with her. She had gone to extra dialysis over those two weeks and was feeling very healthy. Later we found out that even though she was getting regular dialysis, fluid had built-up in the pericardial sack around her heart, effectively stopping her heart. The Doctor indicated this was always a possibility and we couldn’t have predicted when it would happen.
All the educational staff was gathering in the meeting. There was excitement and anticipation and laughter. I walked in with what must have been a horrible look on my face. The room immediately went silent.
“Julie has died this morning in the residence. She’s still lying there on the bathroom floor as we speak. That’s why the ambulance is here. I don’t really know what to say.” Then I just burst into tears (as did everyone else.) I just walked out and sat in the dark in my office. Janice (one of the vocational assistance) came to my office and hugged me around the neck, ‘We need You Lord! Oh we need You!” she prayed/shouted.
Now what?
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