I first met Julie in the back of an ambulance.
She was strapped to a stretcher and she had a look of terror on her face. I introduced myself to her and said this, “Good Morning, Julie. My name is Mr. Geil. We can do 1 of 2 things. You can walk very nicely and obediently with me to a room here in the school where we’ll let you get dressed (she was still in her pajamas) and then we’ll talk, or I’ll fling you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and I’ll carry you to a locked room on the other side of the school. You’ll probably just want to walk nicely and obediently with me right?” The teenager’s eyes got even bigger as she slowly nodded her head. I could see her tugging at and lifting up her pajama shirt. The two ambulance attendants unstrapped her and we walked into the building, me wearing my tie and Julie, barefoot, wearing her terry-cloth pajamas.
She lived with her father, a super-great guy, but Julie had become unmanageable for him (on any one person for that matter) at home. She had a “Pervasive Developmental Disorder” which simply put means, “There’s something wrong and it’s all over.” She had medical concerns as well that required her to be on dialysis a couple times a week.
I worked particularly hard on Julie. She was bright. She was excellent in academics, especially reading. She had no tolerance for frustration What frustrated her the most was any kind of work she didn’t want to do, which (at first) was everything. She had learned to throw some pretty significant tantrums which is expected when you are 2 years old. When you are 15, it is a problem.
However, she was quick on the up-take and within 6 months she had shown great improvement. She loved the Power-Rangers, especially the Pink Ranger. I would often sing a little line to her whenever I saw her, “Go-Go Power Julie! Whiner-saurus Transform!” She liked that.
We worked with her Dad (did I mention, he was super-great) and Julie had regular home visits. It was a great year for Julie. Our structure really helped her and her father.
This was a period for me at KDS where I had “hit my stride.” We had a great teaching/day staff. We had great residential staff. We were unified and all pulling in the same direction. I felt like we had a clear vision for our students and school and we saw a lot of behavioral success. Looking back, I realize I had a thinking error that, on one hand made me very effective temporarily, but nearly killed me long term.
I think I believed that if I loved someone in my heart intensely enough, they would change. Earlier in my career I had detached my emotions from what I was doing, but at KDS I saw I needed to invest my own heart into the kids. In hind sight I think that my emotions for the kids influenced the way I dealt with them. It influenced my decisions and my ability to be “longsuffering.” I would always keep trying when it was clear a kid needed another placement. I just hated ‘giving-up.” I felt that they would “feel the love” through osmosis or something. It was, again, Magical Thinking on my part.
The fantasy crashed pretty hard that 3rd week of August.
(Part 2, A Bad Day, Tomorrow)
chris
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